In response to an opinion piece published June 17, “Avoiding the subject of Father’s Day,” written by Susan Kiley: I enjoyed the article you wrote. It brought back painful, yet wonderful memories of being raised, and also confirmed why I personally avoid Father’s Day, especially as a fatherless person.

After separation from my parents, most of my family were placed with extended family, but I went to live in a private school in Jamaica Plain. The amazing part of the private school was how engaged the teachers were. I felt welcomed, loved, and cherished. We were involved in so many different after-school activities, from sports (swimming, badminton, and touch football) to board games and field trips.

As a single parent, I hope to provide the same for my son. Parents who are raising children without the other parent end up finding substitutions. Single parents use mentors, aunts, uncles, siblings, or even therapy, if the child is going through a traumatic divorce or separation.

Furthermore, there are answers. Each individual child will find their way, and perhaps as a teacher, if you notice a behavior change, you can open up a dialogue with the parent. See if the parent is interested in local parenting support groups, get the child engaged in activities, or therapy may be the way.

Lastly, single parents would be wise to enroll their children in local mentor programs, especially when the children are in middle school, where their interests start to build. In addition, staying active with the child’s life, and their interests, is of high importance. If a child feels abandoned by one parent, there is a chance that they will feel isolated by their single parent. There are resources, and the first step is to see if the parent is interested in enrolling the child in active local clubs or groups.

To me, it never seemed as if I was missing anyone because the children at the school I attended were kept occupied. We were so busy, we couldn’t get in trouble, even if we tried.

Originally published in The Standard-Times newspaper,  SouthCoastToday.com – June 26, 2007 12:00 AM 

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